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Commitment Problems are one of the most pervasive challenges in our relationships, but they may not be caused by what we think they are… Listen to relationship expert Dr. Gay Hendricks as he discusses how we can evaluate the commitment problems in our own marriage or relationship.

Gay Hendricks, PhD

Most people don’t understand how commitment works but if you are in relationship breakdown its probably being caused by a hidden commitment problem. That’s the bad news.

The good news is that your breakdown is the perfect opportunity to learn about commitment.

The most obvious commitment problem is that one or both partners haven’t fully committed to the relationship – they have got one foot out the back door. But, there is more pervasive problem: we make a commitment that interferes with our commitment to the relationship.

For example:

Maybe you could be more committed to the conflict than to the relationship, or more committed being criticized or to criticizing so each time you sense criticism in your partner’s voice, or you feel you’re being ignored, you engage in argument. You fight the fact that you being ill treated that what you show your commitment to so that’s were your energy goes .

The way to solve that problem is to recommit something that supports your marriage.

• Instead of conflict you can commit to appreciation.
• Don’t commit to hearing criticism, commit to generating curiosity.
• Rather than committing to being ignored, commit to being interesting.

So your energy and your focus goes to the positive instead of to the negative and you devote your effort to creating the relationship rather than picking away at it.

Make a new commitment and see what happens!

See larger image Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment (Paperback) By (author) Gay Hendricks, Kathlyn Hendricks List Price: $16.00 USD New From: $8.91 In Stock Used from: $0.01 In Stock Release date January 1, 1992.