Social Media Love Story

Do you find yourself in a relationship where the balance between space and connection can be confusing and blurry? Check out this video: Conscious Relationship Tip #1 – Splitters VS Glommers by Katie & Gay Hendricks.

Here’s the first big relationship discovery that we made:

Gay Hendricks: Relationship thrive when both people commit to unity and connection with the other person. So in order to have a relationship work really well, both people have to be committed to themselves as individuals – their own creative expression – and total union with the other person.

Katie Hendricks: And most of think that when we get into a relationship that we are supposed to be with each other all the time and than if you want to be our selves is either something wrong with us, or something wrong with the relationship. One of the things we liked to do is to divide people into different categories and one of the ones that is create a lot of amusement for us is to decide whether people are glommers or splitters.

Glommers people who prefer to get close they just love to get close.

Gay Hendricks: Glommers feel a little more that they’re not the huggy sort. They like to be on their own, they don’t like public displays of affection. So, what happens unfortunately in relationship if you have a splitter (which I was when I got into out relationship), I thought: “she is doing it wrong.” I made glommers wrong.

Katie Hendricks: And I thought that you are just kind of isolated a little bit of up tide. If you just learn to let other people close to you than you must be a much better person.

Gay Hendricks: And I had the opposite thought. If she just kind of back-off a little bit I’d be a lot of happy.

Katie Hendricks: He actually called me clingy type, I was so offended.

Gay Hendricks: Yes and I believe the word you used for me was tight-ass. So, anyway, after a while we realized what the real solution was and that is that in a relationship a splitter needs to learn from the glommer how to be connected, how to be close to another person.

Katie Hendricks: And glommer needs to learn from the splitter how to have your own independent relationship with the world. How to get information to be comfortable being alone and so one of the thing what we decided that we would commit to be whole human beings that we would learn from each other how to incorporate both being a glommer and a splitter. That’s the first magic move.

Gay Hendricks: And now Katie can hug me in public and my shoulders don’t go to high.