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Ever notice that men & women deal with stress differently? Watch this video as Dr. John Gray explains the differences of How Men and Women Cope with Stress Differently, and learn some valuable skills & tips on how to strengthen your relationship.

How do men and women cope with stress differently? 

One of the biggest reasons for problems in relationships: Not because we cope differently, but because we don’t understand how we cope differently. We just don’t understand what we’re dealing with and when we don’t understand, we tend to misinterpret it. 

So how do men and women cope with stress differently? To sum it up, very simply, Men cope with stress by solving problems. If I’m stressed: “What can I do about it? Ok, let me find something I can do and let me do something about it.” The most depressing thing for a man is to think that there is nothing he can do to solve this problem. That’s why men are always trying to solve problems. They feel best when they are solving problems.

So let’s say a man is at work all day with his problems but today there are problems you can’t solve in one day: there’s mortgages, bank loans and things you have to do and wait 6 months for or may be tomorrow, you have real estate deals so at the end of the day there is nothing I can do to solve this problem. It’s what man becomes experts at. How do you solve a problem that you can’t solve? You’ve been doing this from time since the beginning of time. We’ve got this gene which allows to do it. You can’t solve a problem? No problem. Forget it.

And Plato explained it (because he is a very serious philosopher type) He said:

“life is a serious endeavor, but there is utility and seriousness in being frivolous.”

So one has to have frivolous behavior as well because it puts you in the right side of the brain. So if you go right side of the brain, and you’re a man, the left side of the brain goes to sleep, has a nice rest. The left side of the brain just gets worn out.

The women can’t leave the left side of the brain. They are always thinking and they’re always feeling and they’re always planning to talk or remembering to talk or whatever. The whole brain is functioning for women in a different way for man. Now we feel sorry for women and feel sorry for men or we can ask how we can support each other.

First of all let me explain what women do to cope with stress. Women cope with stress by talking about it. She wants to talk about all the problems that happened today. Why would she ever want to do that? From man’s point of view there’s problem that you can’t do anything about it… Forget it. And that by the way is another communication skill that you have to practice: which women is talking about a problem.

Remember not to say these words:

• Don’t worry about it.
• It’s not a big deal.
• Just forget it.

Here’s something I tried once… after stressful day from my wife. I said honey “don’t worry about it lets just have sex “. Only once… it didn’t work. She might talk about some problem and we’d say: “Just quit that job. Find another job. It’s your choice, do something else.”

Did she feel like that you even interested in what she had to say? No.
Did she feel like you really care about her? No. 
And the truth is, men, is she really asking for your advice at that time? No!

Men are – on a subconscious level – this is where we’re coming from: “Honey just quit that job.” What do you expect her to say? “What a brilliant idea. I had not thought of it. I have a problem with a job, I can just quit it and find another job. Oh that’s great, I feel great no wonder you make all the money.”

She’s not gonna say that, she’s not asking for advice. What she looking for is using her relationship as a way to cope with stress.

See larger image Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress (Hardcover) By (author) John Gray List Price: $24.95 USD New From: $3.95 In Stock Used from: $0.01 In Stock Release date January 22, 2008.